Episode 46: Breaking Out of Your Bubble & Living in Gratitude | With Lori Harder

Chris introduces our guest for the day, Lori Harder. With a multitude of titles under her belt – The Self-Love Expert, The Self-Made Millionaire, Successful Entrepreneur, Network Marketing Professional, Author, Cover Model, and Three-Time Fitness World Champion – there is very little that Lori Harder hasn’t done.

Full Transcription:

01:01

Chris: Welcome to the show, and thank you for spending some time with us. I’d love you [to] do a much better job of introducing you, than I did to the audience, because you’ve just got so much going on. I mean, I was looking at [your] YouTube channel, and I was looking at what you’re about, and I’m just – I’m just so impressed to see the scope and the range that you have of the different things you’re doing. It’s very unusual to see somebody be able to do it across different areas; typically people are very stuck. I know I am. So I’m pretty impressed. Do you want to just give us a little bit about who you are and what it is that you love?

01:37

Lori: You know, I think that we’re all so diverse, and a lot of the things that you saw were done over a long period of time. It’s kind of like; we go down one area and it opens another door to something else. For me, a lot of it started in fitness. I was an overweight kid. I struggled with my weight my whole life. I really wanted to prove that it wasn’t about genetics, because that’s what I heard my whole life. I remember there was a point where I said “No, this is not going to happen to me.” So fitness is really what brought me into all these other avenues.

02:21

Lori: And I realized that, even if you have the most fit body or you feel amazing, you’re not always going to be happy in everything. I thought this fit body was the answer to everything. I get there, and I realize “Wait a minute; why am I still not happy?”

02:38

Lori: So I really wanted to hit on all aspects of what actually makes people happy? So that’s what I do. I like to keep it foundationally in moving your body, and fitness, and what you’re feeding yourself – not just through food, but through your mindset. What do you believe? What are your beliefs? In order to change the body, we have to really look at what we’re thinking, who we’re hanging around [with], what we’re reading, what we’re doing – there’s just so much to it.

03:17

Chris: Right! And they always say that! They say; we teach best what we need to learn. That’s a huge thing for me. So, tell me a little bit more about that move. You wanted to prove people wrong, and I think every entrepreneur has these moments where they really just decide inside them … “you know what? It’s not genetics, it’s not this, I’m just gonna go, and I’m going to prove everyone else wrong. I’m going to do it.” I’d love to figure what was going on for you then?

03:58

Lori: You know, that’s really interesting because you have to look around you and see who’s done it before. I think that’s a really big thing. There was a turning point for me; I was thirteen years old and I was raised in a really strict religion and I’m from a very, very small town, so in my particular religion, there was only two other girls who were my age. So I was in this bubble. I didn’t really know what was outside of that. I made this new friend who lived a couple hours away. I went to her house for the week. It was the first time – because she lived far away – that I had gotten completely outside of my bubble into someone else’s. Her family was really fit. They were really active. They ate healthy food.

Lori: I remember the first night, you know, we had this healthy dinner. And after dinner, I asked; “when do we have our snacks?” And she [my friend] said; “what do you mean, snacks?” I know this sounds crazy, but I had this moment of; ‘wait a minute. So people don’t sit and eat and watch TV after dinner?’ They were super active at home. I lost, like, 5 pounds on this week of just being active [and] eating super healthy. I felt so good.

05:18

Lori: I really started to just … see what it could feel like to like yourself. That was honestly the first glimpse I ever had of what that feels like for a solid week.

Lori: Let’s really look at what happened; I got outside of my bubble, I got into someone else’s life, I got to see how things were different. I got to feel it for a whole week. That just made me gain so much perspective. That just carried with me my entire life.

Chris: What a blessing.

Lori: Mm-hmm. I’m so grateful to this day.

Chris: I can feel it; that’s what’s coming through for me as well. And that’s amazing.

06:15

Chris: I love your concept of getting people outside of their bubble. What is your take on people’s bubble, and it seems as though you’ve got some insight on what actually keeps people stuck?

06:59

Lori: You know, I think that we’re able to put ourselves in a bubble really easily, right? What we believe is what the other people around us believe, and this is just how it is. Where I was raised, it was a lot of; “life is hard” and “food is a struggle,” “when you get together with people, you eat and you drink,” – it’s just this perception. Just trying to be fit under those circumstances is challenging, because you’re pushing against a lot of other people’s beliefs. I think that just doing things – anything! – outside of what you are seeing right now, anything outside your routing, can help you gain so much more perspective.

07:47

Lori: If you feel like you’re stuck, most likely you’re stuck because [you’re] not getting outside of the place that [you’re] in right now. Sometimes, small steps can be huge. Sometimes, you just need to shake stuff up in a major way.

Chris: I love it. And it’s something I’ve shared a lot.

08:48

Chris: I think the bubble concept is huge. So for somebody out there who knows that they can see through their bubble, and [they’re] not able to break through. What’s your advice? What do they need to do start moving and shifting?

Lori: It depends on what level you want to take.

Chris: Our listeners are intense. They’re gonna go for it.

Lori: I love this concept. I love just jumping in. You don’t necessarily have to move. I actually started doing events because some of my biggest shifts were at events. So, just getting so far outside of what you think is normal, you become a totally different person – especially when you’re feeling uncomfortable. You’re experiencing a whole different side of yourself. And I think that’s really beautiful.

10:11

Lori: There’s actually – I’m so getting off on a tangent, but I’m going to tell you one thing I love. There’s this book called “How To Cheat On Your Husband With Your Husband”, and it’s about going and doing things so far outside of your perceived environment. You become two different people within doing new things, so it makes you attracted again and excited to be with that person because it’s like meeting a new person. That’s kind of what these events are like; you’re meeting a new person. You’re trying on a whole different side of you that you didn’t even know existed.

Lori: if you don’t throw yourself in a massive resistance, you never, ever know how strong you’re going to be – nor are you going to build that muscle up.

Lori: I started events because I got a lot of my breakthroughs at big events. It was one of the best things I had ever done, because you can’t get that kind of growth [and] that kind of learning – even knowing who you – are without getting so much diversity from the people around you. [Getting] so much resistance around what you are trying to do – something new, a new experience – or sitting through the uncomfortable for a whole week – that really changes you!

11:33

Chris: It does! And I love the fact that you love challenge, and it shows right through; that challenge and that drive. You know, I’d like a piece of that. I’d like more drive. So, what drives you? What really keeps you going?

Lori: To be totally honest, I’m so driven by not going back to where I was.

Lori: I’m so grateful for those points in my life – of absolute rock-bottoms and massive anxiety and panic attacks and feeling so desperately alone. I’m so grateful for that because I can bring myself right back there. I don’t ever want to lose being able to bring myself back there. I think that’s what makes me understand people so well.

Lori: I think what also drives me so much is knowing that we have this one life, and that I don’t want to die feeling like I missed out on the gifts that I was given to share with people. This beautiful realm of amazing things that we get to experience in this lifetime. These diverse feelings of the people that we can connect with and the things that we can learn. When we really let ourselves go there and think of everything that this world has to offer, and what we’re actually capable of doing, and knowing that we are the only block.

Lori: Just a small fear – a fear of being uncomfortable is the only thing that’s stopping us from having infinite blessings on this planet, and connections, and experiences. That’s really what drives me every single day; knowing what’s available and wanting to live up to that potential.

Chris: It’s a big ask, isn’t it? I think it gets addictive, just removing blocks. It really does.

13:37

Chris: I want to talk about business in just a second, but before I do, I think there’s a really important piece there which is; in order for us to experience the light, we have to experience that dark. I think sometimes, we’re so scared about feeling negative emotions, or feeling upset, or feeling failure, and not getting what we want, that we don’t allow ourselves to feel the other side of it as well. Because the only way to know true happiness is to know true pain.

Chris: So, what are your thoughts on failure? And what advice [do you have] for anyone right now who’s had a bit of a life crash and burn?

Lori: I think it’s – like you said, I think people are scared to sit with that emotion [pain], but if we actually sit with it? It provides the most amazing contrast.

15:33

Lori: Wherever you’re at, it never ends. If you’re at a complete rock-bottom right now, you know what? You’re going to be able to dig yourself out of it, and it’s gonna be one of the most beautiful, teachable moments. It’s gonna help you relate to other people. It’s going to help you realize how grateful and lucky we are to have good days, to have health, to have whatever we have. I really view those as amazing, teachable moments where we can connect with people as well.

Lori: Feeling – just simply feeling – is to be alive. To feel is to be alive. So if we stay in one emotion, you really stop feeling it, because it becomes dull – what you’re used to. It becomes boring, to be honest. Like, if you’re happy all the time? Sometimes that can be really boring because you’re not experiencing that diverse range. So, when I’m in the resistance – when I’m in the pain – I thank it, because I know it’s gonna heighten my joy later.

Lori: There’s just a lot of beautiful things that also brings you so much perspective on people, and [they] help you find your purpose. Just thank every single feeling, and know that it’s passing! Because it’s a feeling – they don’t last forever.

17:02

Chris: I have this weird, weird thing that I do when I wake up in the morning. I wake up and I start thanking things. And it came out of this place where I just knew in my soul that I needed to move into gratefulness.

Lori: It’s about gratitude! Gratitude is the foundation for everything. I love that! I’m going to start using that.

18:15

Chris: I just think a lot of people have forgotten some of the basics. The real basics of; ‘your vibe attracts your tribe.’ If you want to hang out with positive people, then be positive. It’s important.

Lori: It’s so important. You know, I do what I do because – we were talking about; “I teach what I need most.” I like being in constantly in my reminders because I wake up every day, I need to remember just what makes me happy. How to connect in. I’m not walking this earth alone and I need to remember how to connect in. It’s like you go to bed every night and the slate is wiped clean. You wake up the next day and you have to reset. No matter how great that day before was, no matter what venue you went to, no matter what high you were on, no matter what great thing happened, we go to bed – it’s all erased.

Lori: What is the stuff that makes you happy? Do it.

Chris: It’s so easy to be happy when it’s all going good. It’s the other times when we truly sit in those other feelings that we really manifest the wrong stuff.

19:30

Chris: I’d love to talk a little bit about your business, and getting people to start their business. You’ve written a book, you’ve also done most of the marketing with Isagenix. Just run us through a little bit about your business activities and what you’re doing in that, and then I think there’ll be some gold in there that we can dig out.

Lori: Okay, well, I had The Fitness Business first. I actually started as a personal trainer at the gym, and that’s kinda where the baseline all started. I said, “Oh my God, I can’t work for people!” So right away, I was like “okay! Let’s start my own gym!”

Chris: That’s what they’re told! Not being able to work for people – an entrepreneur.

Lori: You’ll know it too, because it feels like your inner temper-tantrum-three-year-old is coming out when someone tries to get you on a schedule. That’s how it feels.

Lori: So then, I was blessed enough to – you know, this is something big; to talk about what you want to do with all the people in your life, because thankfully I talked about the fact that I wanted to start my own gym all the time, to all of my clients that I had at the gym. One of my clients was a chiropractor, and she had just opened a new office that had a lower level. She said, “Hey, I really want a trainer in there. Do you want to do this?” And you know, I leaped long before I was ready. I was actually struggling financially. I said, “Well, I’d love to, but can we work out a deal?”

21:29

Lori: Promote what you want to do to everyone in your life.

Chris: I have never heard anyone say that, but listeners – that is so brilliant. Literally, I am sitting here going; that is one of the easiest and best things because I just noticed how much I’ve done that.

Lori: It’s everything. People want to help you. They really want to help.

22:03

Lori: So, I started doing that. It started really taking off. And then, I outgrew that space. I ended going and getting a larger space and doing group classes, group fitness, different things like that. From there, I actually had a client who brought Isagenix into my life. And she had such a transformation. I literally told her, like, do not talk to me about this stupid Network Marketing thing one more time.

Lori: I started looking at Network Marketing – promoting something you love. I was already promoting fitness. I love it. I was getting asked to be paid for it. So I was like; “I’m already doing this. I’m a walking network marketer!” It just became a no-brainer for me because all my people were struggling with the food aspect. Like, even if they were working out and they were consistent, struggling with food and things like that. So, that’s when Isagenix really came into my life. I realized I really enjoyed doing it. I saw all the transformations throughout my people. Retention went up with all my clients. I was feeling better. And then I realized that it started replacing my other income. I was like, “okay, so what can we do if my husband got in on this – who’s the business guy?”

24:05

Lori: So then, Chris [my husband] and I – honestly, we just went to town. We got really focused because we saw income coming in. We set small goals. First, “what if we can make our car payments?” Awesome, we did that. So then, we were like, “what if we could make our mortgage payments?” So we did that and our mind was blown, because we’re brand-new to Network Marketing.

Lori: And then I think we just got so passionate about it because he and I both had huge transformations. Like, he lost thirty pounds. I had so much energy. I started winning my competitions for the first time ever. That’s when I actually set records – the first year I was on Isagenix – because I felt so good. And I think I was just loving life. When you feel good, everything just excels, right?

Lori: That business actually helped me build the Mindset Business because I needed money to invest in events. I don’t know about you, but if you ever look on events – I was like; “wait a minute – this event that I want is going to cost me $60,000? Okay, next goal!”

Chris: I think that’s great that you followed your bliss and followed stuff that you love.

Lori: You know, Chris, it would not have worked at all if it – So, honestly, every single thing was only because I was passionate about it. There was never one time, ever, that I was like; “Oh, this could make me money! I should hold this.” I never thought that. I was like; “Oh my God, I love this! Could this make me money…?”

Chris: Right! So you came from service, and I think that’s one of the biggest things that all entrepreneurs know. It doesn’t matter whether you love it or not, in my opinion, but that you’re coming from service, and you love what it’s going to do for others. That’s humongous.

25:52

Chris: We need to do second show, because we’re running out of time.

Lori: But I have so much more to say!

Chris: I know! [laughs]

Chris: We’re going to have Lori Harder, Round 2, at some point – soon, I think. I think it’ll be really cool, because I love your message and we’re really just starting to get in to it, I guess. There’s so much, and I think the listeners are going to love it.

Chris: For those that are listening, how do they get in contact with you?

Lori: Well, there’s a couple different ways. I have my website, which is http://www.loriharder.com/  – there’s some free gifts there if you guys go there. And also I would love, love, love for you to check out http://loriharder.pages.ontraport.net/earn-your-happy-podcast which takes you straight to my podcast on iTunes. It is “Earn Your Happy”, or you can search me there!

Chris: I love the title! It’s just so cool!

Chris: Maybe we should set a topic next time, and then we can just go right into it.

26:48

Chris: We’re in this RiseUp movie together, listeners, and there’s a huge lineup in there.

Lori: My mind is a little … [screams] –

Chris: I know!

Lori: — it’s all my favourite people!

Chris: I know! I’m pretty honoured and blessed to be a part of it. That’s going to be pretty exciting, so listeners – make sure you watch out for that as well. We’ve got Tony Robbins and Ariana Huffington and Peta Kelly, Preston Smiles, Alexi Panos, Michael Beckwith, Dalai Lama – who else is in there?

Lori: Uh, Marie Forleo, Jack Canfield, um – oh my God.

Chris: Lori Harder…

Lori: [laughs]

Chris: So, we will say ‘til next time, and I’m really excited about that. Let’s make sure we have a bunch more time, so we can go deep diving. Last message for the audience today; what are you feeling in to?

Lori: If you haven’t done something this week that makes you feel happy, or feel like you – it just takes one moment to literally schedule it and just go and do it. Remember, what makes you feel alive; it’s easy.

Chris: Just do it.

Lori: Just do it!