Episode 41: Becoming a Powerful Man and Overcoming Fear ⎯⎯ with Men’s Empowerment Coach, JuVan Langford

MEET OUR GUEST

“When I change my story, I change my life. When I reframe my story, I reframe my life.”

JuVan Langford is a Men’s Empowerment Coach who believes that the true beauty of manhood lies in its complexity and vulnerability. He focuses on helping men achieve their legacy, allowing them to step into their true selves. His aim is to be utterly fluent in vulnerability.

 

EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION

00:38 – Meet our guest for today, Juvan Langford. He is a Men’s Empowerment coach, and his focus is really on helping men achieve their legacy to really step into their true self and achieve what they want.

01:34 – Juvan shares a little more about who he is and what he does. He is committed to creating “safe spaces” around the world and teaching men to reframe the stories that are holding them back. “I really, truly believe we all have that one thing that we’re [ashamed] of – that one conversation that … [serves] as a barrier for us to truly live our legacy. Men are here to protect and to serve but, more importantly, to live our legacy.”

03:05 – What’s his story? “Here’s the thing; sometimes, in life, there are lessons that we need to learn that are not fair.” For Juvan, the lesson was losing his dad to leukaemia. Juvan was just 4 years old when this happened. His mum was 16 years old when she had him, and so he – and two of his sisters – had to be raised in foster care.

04:17 – “I spent a lot of my life trying to be man enough.”

05:05 – It wasn’t until much later that he realized that “being a man” meant different things for different people. It wasn’t until much later that he discovered the true beauty of manhood lies in the layers and complexity that come with it.

05:24 – “I now know … that what it means to be a man is three things: authenticity, integrity, and maturity.”

07:13 – What do you think is the biggest challenges for men when it comes to being vulnerable? Why do we (men) not allow ourselves to have that vulnerability even though we know that vulnerability can be strength? There are three things that hold men back from embracing their vulnerability.

1. Feelings of inadequacy – they don’t feel like they’re “good enough.” They stop themselves from applying for jobs or approaching women that they feel are out of their league
2. The Imposter Syndrome – “I’m super successful in business. I’m making money. I’m travelling the globe. But I’m single, and I can’t let anybody know that.”
3. Control – men love to be in control. “I’m only powerful when I’m in ”

 

10:00 – It’s hard for men to admit to these three things, and even harder for them to move through them. But what’s on the other side? What’s the reward waiting once you break free? Once you move past them, you learn to reframe your life. You learn how to make your story work for you, not against you. “When I change my story, I change my life. When I reframe my story, I reframe my life. When I came from love, I created that in the world.” It’s simply shifting the dynamic of the thoughts we have. What’s waiting for you on the other side is everything you think of when you wake up in the morning – the things you dream are possible.

 

11:48 – For anyone listening to the podcast right now; “You must want it and offer no consistent thought that opposes it. You’ve got to burn all bridges, cut all sources of retreat, and be super committed. That’s it.”

13:08 – How do we change our story? Reframe. Reframing is simply replacing the narrative with something new. You have to learn to come from the frame of possibility, and not the mindset of problem.

14:57 – “You can’t complain about that which you tolerate.” If there’s something happening that you’re tolerating, then you have no right to complain. Either do something about it or stop complaining about it. Juvan expounds on this more using an analogy that involves a swing in the park and an ice cream truck. “Here’s what I learned; when I’m attached to the story, I limit what’s available to me.”

17:08 – It was Alexi Panos and Preston Smiles (good friends of both Chris and Juvan) who said; “In order to become it, you must be able to risk who you think you are.”

17:51 – What’s the difference between knowing it, and then actually doing it? What is the difference between the person who stays – the person just hearing this – and the person that gets up and walks over the ice cream truck? Juvan’s answer: pain. He elaborates on this further by sharing a story he heard before, about a young man who walks to work every morning and a dog sitting on a nail.

20:08 – What was Juvan’s turning point? When did he realize that enough is no longer enough?

23:05 – “At this point, I’ve become pretty fearless. The only thing I’m afraid of at this point is not speaking enough trough with enough clarity. That’s all I fear at this point. Anything else, I’ll figure it out along the way. But it’s about standing in our truth. It’s about communicating our message. I’ve got a message, and it’s about – it is different. For everybody. What it looks like to be a man. Every man gets to step out and step in to his legacy and create it. And live that legacy now. You can’t leave a legacy until you first create it and live it out.”

24:25 – Where can we go to get more from you? Juvan loves creating video content. You can find him online at his channel; https://www.youtube.com/user/themrjlangford Thought Life. You can also check out http://juvanlangford.com/ — his official site. He loves giving away freebies which you can grab through there. His current free giveaway is a video series called “The Beauty of Being a Beast.”

27:05 – Chris gives his biggest takeaway from today’s interview.

28:03 – One last quick question; if given the chance to rewind the clock, what is the one piece of advice JuVan would give his younger self? “I would tell myself to allow.”