On this episode of the Total Freedom Podcast, we end 2015 with a bang! Alexi Panos returns for round two — this time giving our listeners solid advice on stepping up, standing out, and overcoming ego and fear.
See part 1 here
02:21 – Our host poses the concept that the episode will be centered around today; stepping out, standing for your message, and dealing with the consequences
Chris: I want everyone to understand – and learn – from you today about; how do we step out and be okay being “out there” – being big, and being authentic, and all the stuff that we have to deal with
Alexi: I want to be clear that even Preston and I are still working on peeling back the layers and doing this: arms wide open, here I am, here’s my message, take it or leave, this is what I’m going to stand for. And it’s been our biggest work and I can speak on this really strongly because it’s what I’ve been up against my entire life.
03:13 – Despite being a successful speaker and public figure, Alexi shares that even she went through a gradual, step-by-step process to overcome the natural fear of standing out.
Alexi: It started off as “Who do I think that I am to do this?
Alexi: And then it went into: “Okay, I’m doing this.”
Alexi: Then it went to: “Well, man, I just want to make content that’s, like, aligned with who I am and what’s coming through me. I just need to share it.”
Alexi: And now, it’s: “Can I stand in the fire with what I have to say, even if-slash-when – because when you’re a stand for something, it immediately creates a position; it creates opposition – can I stand in that even when people come and say: I don’t like it. I don’t agree. I don’t think you’re right. Here’s my challenge. I say this. Can I stand there and go: “And I’m still a stand for this.”
04:49 – Why is Standing Out such a big deal?
Chris: Here’s what was big for me about this and why I wanted to bring it up. [It’s] because – it is still hard, and it’s still a challenge – but it is easier to talk about a product, or to talk about somebody else, or to talk about other things, but when it matters? Truly, truly, truly matters, and it is you? When you put you out there?
Chris: When you stand up and go; “This is actually who I am, everybody. And this is what I’m all about.” It’s a big deal.
Chris: You go out there and you might do a video, you might say something, and there’s this: “Oh, but what would so-and-so think? Or what would the media think? Or [what] would this happen?” I just think the truth in getting out there [is that] it’s a big step.
06:36 – Alexi shares some lessons learned from Elizabeth Gilbert on the concept of Ideas
Alexi: Here’s what I found – and I’ve got to give credit to Elizabeth Gilbert. Have you heard of her?
Chris: I have now.
Alexi: Okay. She is amazing. She wrote the book “Eat, Pray, Love” –
Chris: Oh. I know the book.
Alexi: Yeah. Her latest book, “Big Magic” is awesome. She brought to light something that I studied a while back, but she said it so brilliantly. So, back in the Roman days and in the Greek days, they would say that an idea was your genius. It was your Muse.
Alexi: So they wouldn’t make it about you. It wouldn’t be like a personal thing, like ‘Chris did it.’ It was your genius. It was whatever Muse came down to create that idea and bring that idea forth. So it was a great way to separate the art from the artist. So when it was bad … they would say; Okay. Your genius had an off-day. Your Muse was a little off that day.
Alexi: She talks about this idea about Ideas. Ideas are like these crazy orbs – imagine these orbs floating around the universe. There’s millions of them, everywhere. And the only thing that an Idea is focused on is getting made. Is being brought – being manifest – into this world.
Alexi: It’s this idea that ideas are not ours.
09:04 – “This idea that ideas are not ours” – how does this mindset help you stand out and share your message?
Alexi: It’s helped me get out of my own way. Where it’s like; ‘Oh, this isn’t about Alexi. I’m just a vessel. The idea’s coming through me, and it’s an awesome one, and I need to share it because it resonates with me. And if people don’t like it, they don’t like it. If they love it, they love it. But either way, it’s not about me.”
10:05 – For all the people out there who now they have something to share, Alexi has some advice
Chris: I think there’s a listener right now who knows they have a message to share. I think they know that they’re hiding out, and I think that they know they’re the world’s best kept secret and no one knows about them yet. And here’s a big that I want to share with you: you can be the best of the best of the best. You can be so good. You can be absolutely amazing. You will not make that difference until you becoming ‘OUT-standing’ and you actually STAND OUT.
Chris: In your opinion, what are some of the things that these people need to start doing or thinking. Like, practical steps on how to allow themselves to come out? I mean, to actually come out from behind their wall.
Alexi: Stop hiding, people. Stop it. [laughs]
Alexi: There are, I guarantee you, 95 percent of the people listening to this podcast, have something that’s waiting inside them to come out. And they’ve got a list of reasons of why they can’t do it yet. ‘Oh, well I don’t have the right equipment’ or ‘Oh, well, I’m waiting for an editor,’ or ‘Oh, I’m waiting to get a good background,’ – whatever.
Alexi: I’m waiting. I’m waiting, I’m waiting, I’m waiting. And procrastination is really – really, the truth of it – is going ‘I’m not ready to put myself out there, put my ego out, and have it [my ego] willing to be judged.
Alexi: So, the way we get over it is; we just do it.
14:03 – How to address the fears and self-doubt that will come
Alexi: … and then all of a sudden, your mind starts going “Oh my gosh, what if they don’t respond?” or “What if they hate my speech?” and “What if they talk about how bad it was?” or “What if I get a negative comment?”
Alexi: That’s where you have to keep checking yourself. ‘It’s not about me. It’s about my message.’
Chris: I love it.
Chris: I think … so often, people give themselves such a story of why they’re not doing what they’re meant to be doing. And, you’ve gotta ask yourself. You know; you can have results or excuses, but not both. You have the story or you have the success, but you don’t have both.
15:01 – Chris Duncan and Alexi Panos on the concept of “Perfection”
Chris: Your imperfect action will lead closer to perfection.
Alexi: Perfection does not exist. It does not exist.
Alexi: I gave up perfection in the pursuit of excellence.
Alexi: What does it mean to be excellent?
17:05 – The Root Cause of Perfectionism
Chris: The root cause behind being perfect is – people say; it’s because I don’t want to fail. No, it’s not. No, it’s not.
Chris: If you are worried about a video going out because of what others think, you’ve got to ask yourself; why are you worried about what they think?
Chris: ‘Because then, they won’t love me’ or ‘They won’t like me.’
Chris: Well, what does that actually mean to you?
18:03 – Reevaluate the WHY of what you’re doing
Alexi: People aren’t willing to talk about it. And you have to talk about. WHY are you doing what you’re doing?
Alexi: Are you doing it for attention? Are you doing it for love? Are you doing it for “respect”? Are you doing it for your reputation? Are you doing it for fame, for money?
Alexi: If you’re doing it for any of those reasons, then you’ve already failed.
Chris: That’s it.
Alexi: You’ve already failed. Because then, the world owns you. Their opinion owns you. You are trapped. You are trapped and you will never be happy.
20:16 – Chris’s Message to the Listeners
Chris: You’ve got to start from that place. And if you don’t have the feeling that you want to feel now, you won’t get it then.
Alexi: You will never get what you want. You will always get what you are.
Alexi: And if you are coming from a place of lack and scarcity and ‘I need money,’ and ‘I need this,’ and ‘I need this to be happy,’ – well, then you’re always going to need. You’re always going to need because you are coming from a place of need.
Alexi: But if you are coming from a place of ‘I am abundant.’ ‘I am love.’ ‘I am giving.’ ‘I am happiness and joy and bliss’ then, my God, you are going to be it.
21:41 – Chris gives the listeners some questions to think about
Chris: What is the result that you’re chasing?
Chris: And then what is that going to give you?
24:12 – Alexi also poses another question that she asked herself back then, and that listeners should ask themselves
Alexi: And then I had to ask; what does success mean to me? What does it really mean to me?
Alexi: So while we’re talking about bringing our message out and standing in the fire and being willing to go there and being willing to put yourself out there, face annihilation and allow your ego to just be blown to shreds – we’re asking you; figure out why you’re willing to do that.
Alexi: Also, know what your definition of success is.
Alexi: Because if not, you’re going to be chasing – like, running. Running down a long road that goes nowhere.
29:09 – Alexi shares why the law of attraction (we don’t get what we want, we get what we are) is so simple, and yet we often fail to realize it
Alexi: But it’s truly one of the hardest things to do because I think we’re programmed as a society, as a people, to wait for the world to show up for us.
Alexi: We’re waiting but your life is moving. Your life is ticking. Your time is ticking. And you’re trading your days for something on this planet. What is that thing?
Alexi: If we can choose to be what we want now, and recognize that we already are that – that we don’t even need to want it because we already have it here – it’s just a choice. [Then] everything else is just a bonus.
31:54 – A nice little recap
Chris: So today, we just talked, I think. And we talked about a lot of things about stepping into who you are and understanding that you can become outstanding. And then somehow that moved into love and connection for you, and not needing it.
Alexi: My biggest insight is START. Just begin. There is a genius inside of you that is begging – is begging – and you’ve heard it. It’s begging you to let it out. And the world needs your gift. The world needs it now. It is time. Stop standing in your own way, because we’re waiting. We’re waiting for you.